Scary.

When I was young, I think I was the worst movie 'watcher' ever. I mean I was even afraid of Jurassic Park.

Oh NO! The T-shirt. NO the T-REX IS HERE.

Notice the left side of the background is getting deforested by the long necks.

Well, they ARE scary. But at that time I was so into dinosaurs i never missed any chance to watch the movie. And I loved every bit of that movie. Steven Spilled Beard! YOU ROCK! Oh wrong spelling eh?

But it was no joke. I was even afraid of a movie which had giant octopuses in it. Oh and there was a scene in the movie in paticular that i remember until now. It goes some what like this.

it was at night and a gang of good people were going to the sea to kill the badass octopus. There were a few octopuses, but they all died. This was the last one. And the biggest one. They were all prepared with big ass guns and they knew they must win for the good of mankind. But then,

Yup. That was a coward. He was the richest in the boat. And the boat was his. He followed because he wanted them to catch the badass octopus so he could make money. But he didn't know he had a more serious enemy: his fear. He was blinded by greed until the moment he faced the truth. So even before the octo badass came, he took a lifeboat and ran for his life.

He thought he was safe. He was not.

The octo badass was smart.

The following was taken through the coward's eyes. (imagine with scary music needed)

And after that, we all know what happened to the guy. He became octo faeces. I have no idea why but the other parts of the movie, I never remembered, but this particular scene was like stuck in my head for years, almost as if i was the guy in the movie.

But no matter how scary the movie is, it's not the worst part. The worst part is, the aftermath. The part where your mom say:' Go to BED.'

The bed, is something that is like the brewing thing of the witches. Anything can come out of it. You know how the other people always say that the bed is like the safest place on earth? But I definitely have a lot against that. And I have a lot of experience.

Let say you just finish one fine lovely SCARY movie. You go to bed, thinking it's all over =)

And then. You hear something.

Actually, it's something you're not sure you heard it, but you know you heard it and then you start asking yourself if you really did hear it or not but you are quite sure it's not your imagination thought it might as well be. And then. You suddenly realized. A ghost made that sound. Or some aliens. Or dinosaurs. Or the giant octopus.

And yes. You realized it's under your bed. There's actually a secret door under your bed. The THING came in through it.

You're afraid. But you know once you touch the ground, your life is over. The THING is going to grab you and eat you. You become THING-faeces.

And then you cannot sleep the whole night. You must never let your guard down. IT WILL COME AND EAT YOU.

Happy Birthday to YOU.

Happy Birthday to you SIS.

you know we all sing birthday songs during birthday. Well, i have to too =) but i can record it because i don't have an exceptionally nice voice, but hah. i know what to do =)

So here it is: your birthday song, personalized with awesome pictures!

Happy Birthday to you!

You are born in the ZOO =D

With MONKEYYYS and ELEPHANTSSSSS.

And the GORILLA. LOVES. YOU!

Haha. End of song.

Well, hope you liked it.

opps. i said i would show it to you when the sun rises, but opps it's almost sundown. haha

Pictures of songs.

I know some of these are pretty obvious but try guessing the songs. haha

My awesome cells.

You know, i think i'm so good, it's gone into my cells. I mean, my cells are so awesome. They're like the best ever on earth. You know why? Because they're my cells.

Proof:

There was this day. I was happily eating my very nice breakfast with my parents.

Yup. You can't see my sisters. They're still usually still pigging in their beds. Sometimes the big one do come. But that's when we go for roti planta. She loves them. I LOVE LOVE them too. It's like joy and love made into a piece of golden greatness. Anyways, while we were eating, my dad suddenly had this brilliant idea.

He said:

"Hey son, why don't you fix the pipes later? Which one? The one outside. It was leaking since last week."

I'm was totally caught in shock. It's like suddenly one day you see an angel and the angel told you: you're going to be a plumber. and fix pipes for all the rest of your life. And pipes are going to be your live. And on the last day of your life, you have to fix the pipe that has been leaking since last week outside of your house.

The ARE YOU SERIOUS! face.

No. It wasn't those times where he would laugh and say: " YOU SHOULD REALLY LOOK AT YOUR FACE LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!' moments. It was serious. and it was a command. GO DO PLUMBING.

And so, I accepted the fact to do it. like seriously. I was determined to get down and over with it.

So. i took the toolbox, got all the tools i needed and prepared to get down and dirty with the PIPE. I was like yeah it's just a piece of cake, or maybe two, well better if it's three cause seriously one is never enough.

GRRRR. PIPE. YOU'RE GOING DOWN.

Well, I started and found out the pipe was no shabby enemy.

And so, i started turning and turning and turning, and sticking and sticking and turning and turning and turning again. Oh well, that's really basically what I really needed to do. Think i'm lying? AHAH. That's the proof that you've never done plumbing before.

In a decade's time, i finally defeated the leaking pipe. The leaking pipe died and was burned to ashes, replaced by a pretty lovely fluffy goofy cutely placed golden pipe.

And it we lived happily ever after. NOT. OH NO.

THERE'S A CUT ON MY HAND! AND ALSO RUST ALL OVER IT.

a very artistic hand huh.

And that time, i thought i was going to die. There's a cut. And there's rust all over it. I'm going to get tetanus. I am going to die. before i get to eat macaroons. before my dog died. before i become famous. before I could get married.

And i started to feel dread. I think i'll become the saddest case ever on earth, dying because i gave up my life helping my family do plumbing. Sorrow grew and i knew i was breaking apart.

Of course i couldn't cry. I was a man. A man with a plumber pride. But at that time, my mom suddenly shouted:' HEY!!! are you done fixing the pipes???? I have something for you to eat~~~'

And that was it. I totally forgot about the hand and RUSHED to my mom. She baked a cake. A whole cake. Not a piece of cake. And I AM serious. I forgot about the wound until a few days later i sat down thinking how the universe is so big and I am so small even though i am so big and suddenly wondering how long i am going to live and finally came to a dread stop. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAND!?

And then i realized. I am still alive. Not shaking, not having tetanus. I must be some kind of immortal monkey who cannot be beaten down by sickness. And so i figured it must be my cells. and this should be what happened.

this is inside my skin.

they all look strong and friendly. like me.

When my hand got cut, this is what happened.

ugly and weak creatures trying to kill me. =(

yap. Thousands of stupid pathogens tried to invade me. This was when i thought i was a goner. I thought all hope has been lost because if you see it under a microscope, it looks like this.

notice. The black ones are the bad guys. The red ones or rather, one is the good guy. But, i think because of my awesomeness, the red cell became immortal.

He fought and fought. Killed and killed. And all the tetanus pathogens were filled with dread. How could one cell be so powerful?? Well in the end, victory was inevitable. It was fate. The red cell was fated to win. The undeniable fate of being the cells of mine is to fight and win.

Burp. Wow. =)

The Faber-castell story.

I still remember when i was small, i used to like drawing. And by drawing I mean REAL drawing, on paper, not using a trackpad. I would always bug my mom to buy the coolest 'Faber-castell' color pencils. Naturally, my mom would never simply buy me things that I want. It's about RM24 at that time. But really, that amount of money feels like RM100000000000000000000000. Or even more.

Well, it's not like my mom is those boring mums that limits their child's creativity, but she DO provide me with color pencils. Well, these color pencils are the compilation of the many color pencils collected from goodness knows where, with a lot of brands like luna (color pencils for lunatics), stabilo (for a stable hand when holding milo), and so many others. Some of them even have very interesting brand names like FIRE color pencils.

Yes. That box of color pencil (which is made from plastic and it's actually an empty ice-cream box) has all the brands of color pencils in the world, except FABER-CASTELL. It's like pouring salt on my deep deep wounds =(. Or in this case, putting fire color pencils into my wounds. =(( Double sadness.

But one day, I was determined to get it. It was decided deep down inside my heart. I WILL get it. And so when I finally get my chance to go pass a shop that sells Faber-Castell, I began a series of strategies. Aim? to get my Faber.

The first approach. The gentle persuasion.

Preparation needed : a cute face.

To make this a bit more effective, you have to put hope in your eyes. Gaze upon your mom like she is the god of everything and will then bless you with the faber-castell. Of course, the smile of joy and gratitude and love must be present. Never stop believing.

But it's kinda funny, this method almost never works. Especially when you put your life on the line for it.

Well, worry not. There's still plenty cards up my sleeve.

The next step. The annoyance.

This is the hardest part of all. It's like a battle between you and your mom.

This part starts when your mother says no.

She's not even going to give you any attention.

Well, this really pisses me off when i was young. Why? Because my mom would go through a mountain of cloths that look all the same rather than considering my life threatening issue at hand. (notice she picks up the shirt that is EXACTLY the same one she's wearing. )

And so, you keep asking.

Uh-oh. Boiling point reached. But this is all going according to plan. The boiling point is like a 50:50 kinda thing. When you annoy her pass her boiling point, she'll either go:

'OK FINE I'LL BUY FOR YOU SO SHUT UP AND STOP BEING AN ASS AND BEING SO ANNOYING. YOU'RE MAKING ME UNABLE TO DECIDE WHICH DRESS TO BUY' and fyi, she is still looking at the same shirt.

or:

'YOU BETTER SHUT UP OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET SOME SERIOUS LOVING FROM ME. YOU'RE SO NOISY EVERYBODY IS GOING TO THINK THAT YOU'RE A BAD BOY. SHAME ON YOU.'

which, the second outcome is not the desirable one. But nonetheless, i will not give up my life.

I have still the last strategy, but i'll leave it for next time.